All Good Things Must Come to an End

To be honest, the cortisone shot did absolutely nothing.  My shoulder actually felt worse after I got it.  I once again refused to tell anybody because like I said I was determined to make the Senior National team.  This team consists of the best gymnasts from Massachusetts, much like the regional team I was chosen to be on.  The difference however, is that this team consists only of seniors in high school, and they compete in Florida against all teams from the nation instead of just the region.  Even with my injury, I was chosen to be on this team!  I was so excited when it was announced at one of the competitions I almost cried.  All the hard work the past four years, and pushing through so much pain finally paid off.  After the team was announced, there were scheduled practices for all of the senior gymnasts so we could get to know each other and practice as a team since we were from all over Massachusetts. 

         The big competition was in Ft. Meyers, Florida.  We stayed in the “Diamondhead” Hotel and it was absolutely breathtaking.  We jet skied with dolphins, parasailed, and actually had time to lie by the hotel pool.  My mom and grandmother came with me, but I shared a room with 3 of my teammates.  When it came time for competition, I used everything in me to try to ignore the pain, but it was so overpowering it was nearly impossible.  Much like New Englands, I was only able to compete two events.  As disappointed as I was that I couldn’t contribute four scores to the team, I was grateful I was able to compete two events, and blessed that I was even chosen for the team.  We ended up finishing in a tie for third place as a team, and even though we didn’t win, I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world.  It was the most amazing experience and something I will never forget. 

         This competition was in mid-June, which meant there were still YMCA nationals ahead of me at the end of June in Toledo, Ohio.  After weighing the pros and cons of competing at YMCA nationals, my coaches, family, and I decided it was in my best interest not to participate.  I had been pushing through my shoulder pain for over a year now and it needed rest.  I was upset about this decision, however I knew it wasn’t worth it.  This meant my gymnastics career was officially over.  Although it seemed like I had a pretty rough career, I definitely had some highlights as well.  Not only was I chosen for the USAG Regional team twice, and the Senior National team, I was the Salem News all star for three years in a row including my senior year, I was an NEC/CAL all star two years in a row, and I was also my high school teams MVP 2 years in a row as well. 

         Looking back on my accomplishments throughout my career I am so proud of everything I did.  To this day, I still have 40+ trophies alongside my 100+ medals from competitions.  I miss this sport more than anything and would do anything to be able to compete again.  Gymnastics was my first love and because of that I decided to become a coach.  I love watching the sport do for these young girls what it did for me.  Gymnastics was the hardest, most rewarding 13 years of my life and I wouldn’t be who I am today without it. 

Just Stick it Out

After returning to gymnastics after my concussion, and training all summer I was ready for my senior year.  Over the summer, I did have shoulder pain, but I didn’t want to go to the doctors for fear of what they would tell me.  So I decided to ignore the pain and push through one last season. At the first meet of the season in October, I was once again doing my vault “timers” and went too high this time instead of too far like previously, and didn’t land on my feet before I rolled backwards.  This caused the back of my head to slam on the mat.  This time was very similar to the concussion incident before.  I was dizzy and nauseous for the rest of the competition, but I refused to tell my coach or my parents because I knew I would be out for at least two weeks again.  I continued to practice and compete with a concussion, but was extremely careful I didn’t hit my head again.  Eventually, the symptoms went away.  However, I was dealing with a much bigger issue.  My shoulder began to hurt worse and worse and it was getting harder to just ignore the pain.  I was very limited when it came to practicing because by the end of practice, the pain was excruciating. 

         Despite this injury, I managed to push through the pain enough to help lead my team to the last possible competition called New Englands.  In order to get to this competition you have to come in the top 11 at Sectionals, and then the top 2 at States.  This was the first time Beverly High School has accomplished this in nine years!  We were so thrilled, and this was the perfect end to my high school gymnastics career.  We traveled to Connecticut in a Coach bus as a team, and stayed in a hotel with all of my teammates and had a genuinely good time. Since this was the last competition of the high school season it was in March, and the pain in my shoulder just kept getting worse.  I was only able to compete 2 events, but I helped out my team as much as I could.  We came in fourth place at New Englands, which was more than we ever thought possible. 

         When I got home from New Englands I knew it was time to go to the doctors and see what was going on with my shoulder.  After getting an MRI, my doctor told me I had a frayed labrum, and that my joints were loose.  He said I could push through the pain, but it had potential to cause damage to my tissue.  At this point, I figured I only had 3 months left of gymnastics and that I could push through it.  Also, I was determined to make it on to the “Senior National Team” which competed in Ft. Meyers, Florida in early June.  So, I decided to get a cortisone shot in my shoulder to get me through training until Nationals. 

A Series of Unfortunate Events

As my junior year was coming to a close, it became time to prepare for nationals.  It is always at the end of June, making it the last competition of the season, and giving gymnasts all season to prepare.  That year, it was in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.  Even though I had already been to Wisconsin for nationals 3 years before, I was excited to go back.  After competing in a few nationals competitions, I got all the nerves out and was ready to compete.  Also, that year I had moved up from level 8 to level 9 and was feeling strong and confident. 

         One day at practice, I was warming up my vaults.  (This is the event I broke my ankle on a couple years earlier).  I bounced back quickly from this injury and was doing that skill again.  However one day, it didn’t go so well.  Before you actually flip, you need to do what is called a “timer.”  This consists of the beginning of the vault, followed by no flip and just rolling backwards to break your fall.  This one particular time I got way too much power and flew backwards.  I did my roll, however because I had so much power I was extremely far back on the landing mat.  Behind the landing mat is a padded wall.  Even though it is padded, it is not very squishy, so it still hurts when you hit it.  I unfortunately managed to hit the wall with the back of my head because I rolled too far and too fast.  Fortunately, I did not black out completely, but I do remember everything going blurry for a few seconds.  I was extremely dizzy and felt nauseous, which are both symptoms of a concussion.  I went to the doctors and they told me I was out of gymnastics for at least two weeks, and possibly longer depending on lingering symptoms.   

         Luckily for me this injury happened less than 2 weeks before I was supposed to leave for Wisconsin.  This obviously meant I would not be able to compete.  Once again, I was devastated especially because I only had one more year left of gymnastics.  I tried to look on the bright side as much as I could.  That being that I had one more full season, and another nationals to train for. 

The Beginning of the End

Unfortunately, after a very successful sophomore year, things began to go downhill from there.  The high school gymnastics team I was on (Beverly high school) got a new coach my sophomore year and I was thrilled because it was one of my coaches from the YMCA team.  She obviously knew what I was capable of doing, and I figured it was going to be a perfect fit.  I couldn’t have been more wrong.  The last two years of high school gymnastics were the worst experience in my high school career.  My coach was an awesome coach for my YMCA team, but when she began coaching high school, she was just awful.  Because I was on two different teams, I had to attend two different practices a night.  This meant that I was practicing for five hours a day almost every day, while also attending competitions on the weekends.  After her first year of coaching high school gymnastics, she began to get power hungry.  I was not the only gymnast on her team that competed for more than one team; in fact 90% of the gymnasts on the team did this. Because she was my coach for both teams, she knew exactly which events we did that day, and what skills and routines I completed.  However, she had the mentality that she was “blind” at YMCA practice.  This meant that when high school practice started, she forced me to do all the same routines and skills I did earlier that day at YMCA practice.  After a few weeks of this, I was getting extremely burnt out and was physically and emotionally exhausted. 

After talking to my parents about this, I went to her to talk to her about a new plan for practices.  My body couldn’t handle that much gymnastics.  She basically had no regard for how I was feeling mentally or physically and pretty much told me “tough luck.”  I was furious.  I will admit, from that moment on I had a pretty sour attitude towards her but I couldn’t help it.  I felt as if she didn’t care about me as a person or as her gymnast and I wanted nothing to do with her.  However, I knew I had to stick it out because I wanted to be a captain my senior year.  So, for the entirety of my junior year season I put a fake smile on my face, practiced as hard as I could for 5 hours a day, 5 days a week, and wore my body to shreds. 

When the banquet finally came along at the end of the season where she would announce the captains for the upcoming season I was confident that I would receive the captainship.  There were 6 other girls in my grade that I was up against, but my teammates assured me they were voting for me.  When she announced the two captains, my name was not one of them. To make it even worse, it was my two best friends. I will never forget the feeling in that moment. I was absolutely devastated.  When the banquet was over I sped home, went in the shower, and just cried. I was heartbroken for weeks.  To this day, it hurts for me to talk about because of all the hard work I put in to that team, and for her.  From that moment on, my gymnastics career only went downhill.

My Glory Days

         In the world of gymnastics, there are 3 types of teams to compete for.  They are, “YMCA,” “USAG,” and “high school gymnastics.”  High school gymnastics is pretty self-explanatory, however the other two are not.  YMCA gymnastics basically means that the gymnastics center is out of a YMCA, be it anywhere in the country.  USAG stands for “USA gymnastics” which is a much more difficult league.  The teams that compete in this league are private gyms and take it much more seriously than YMCA’s.  Also, the competition in USAG meets are much more difficult than in YMCA meets.  However, YMCA teams can compete in USAG meets, and anyone can compete for a high school gymnastics team. (As long as you are in high school, and are not cut from the team, obviously).  I just happened to compete for all three leagues. 

         In USAG, they have their own meets, and the competition is extremely tough. Every year, USAG has their own “Regional” meet and they choose only 6 gymnasts from each state to compete.  I was one of 6 gymnasts chosen to represent Massachusetts! And not once, but two years in a row! It was truly an honor to compete with those girls in such a difficult competition.  It was such a great experience and in the short amount of time we spent together as a team, we became really close and competed like a team even though we had only known each other for a few weeks.  Both years I competed at regionals representing Massachusetts we came in first place! The feeling was indescribable.  I was so proud of my team and especially myself.  I was so thankful to have been given that opportunity not only once but twice.